Cuss words

I want to cuss pretty often, and do, except when I blog.  Mainly I don't cut loose to avoid offending anyone, or have evidence that I have a potty mouth.  But, I am good at it...cussing, that is. So when I blog without cursing, I greatly reduce my vocabulary.  And sometimes I just really don't think it sounds like me without the "d" word, "s" word, and most especially without the "f" word. People that know me understand what I mean; because most of the time when I cuss, it's not in a deragatory way, but rather for affect or emphasis.  Curse words do the job sometimes when no other word can.....and those non-cussers out there know it, too.  That's why they use words like shoot, goshdarn, dang'it, friggin', golly, dadgum,sheesh...and all of those other wimpy-ass words that fall short of making the point. Not one person on this planet lives a life that is so even and un"f"d up that a curse word is never needed. Stub your toe lately?  It hurts. And "Oh My, That Hurt!" just doesn't cut it. 
Anyway, I wish I could feel o.k. about cussing in my blog.  But I still don't. Damn it.

Immersed

Right this minute Tesla is rocking my world with "No Way Out"....I am on one of those iTunes trips where you go to find a song, one thing leads to another, and you are back in 1995.  And that is on the return ride  from 1984 and Ratt (Round and Round), 1985 and Cinderella (Gypsy Road), 1987 and Guns N Roses (Every stinkin' song on the album, right Dora?), 1988 and Bon Jovi's New Jersey ("Stick to Your Guns" makes me want to pull my hair and scream like the 13 year old girl I was when I listened to the cd a zillion times) , Van Halen in 1983, 1984, 1986, 1991......Especially 1991 For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge Tour ....I paid for Sean Copeland's ticket and mine with my Winn Dixie paycheck so I would have someone to go with me to the concert in Jacksonville (I was only 16.) .....1991 Pearl Jam (Black...riding dirt roads).... 1990 Alice n Chains (Would) , 1994 Stone Temple Pilots (Interstate Love Song....riding over the bridge on my way to Jekyll Island), Soundgarden 1994 (Spoonman).  1991 Metallica (All of the songs, All of them!)

"Until some loco two-bit floosie with a Louie Le-Strange" sang Tesla.

My butt is numb from sitting on this wooden chair for so long...but I am completely addicted to this rope I'm pulling on.

Seriously.....If you love me, go to iTunes and download Bon Jovi's "Stick to Your Guns".

H is for Hydrangeas

Without a doubt, my favorite time of year is when the hydrangeas have bloomed....not only do they make me feel good just looking at them....it means it summer!  Hot! Sticky! Sunny! Sweaty! Humid! Tan! Icees! Pool! Beach! Cold Beer! Sumer Music! No School! Sleep Late! SUUUUUUMMMMEEERR!  Not to mention late night runs....hot pavement smells, car lights, iPod blasting, toxins pouring out covering me with salty slick sweat....then- whoosh into the pool...aaaahhhh.

Speaking of hydrangeas....I can't grow em.....but here are some pictures of the ones in my neighborhood. (Blue is still my favorite.)  They sorta take my breath away.

On my table at home......oh, how pretty.

Shhhweaty....

In the words of Chandler Bing....."Could it BE any hotter?"  One step out of the door, hair shrivels, clothes sag with sweat and I suck in a breath of thick 96 degree air.....and another.  But then.....I blast the air conditioner with all four vents pointed right at my face and I'm on the verge of heaven....headed for an Extra Large 42oz sweet tea from Zaxby's. $2.20, thank you very much.

Today I issued an ultimatum to one of the loves of my life...Ramsey....the eight year old who can alternately break my heart with his tenderness and affection or send me over the edge with hateful words....The ultimatum....he grows up or gets out.  And I kind of mean it.....his grandad has been called on to take his turn.....my boy has promised he will change (take no for an answer without confrontation, get up in the mornings without craziness, go to bed at night without craziness, get himself dressed, do a better job of taking care of his bathroom business, express his emotions appropriately)......Not easy for a boy with OCD, ADHD, and anxiety issues.  Not easy, but possible.  I believe Ramsey can overcome this stuff.  It is time. Grow up or get out.  (Are you judging me?????....I dare ya.....)

Oh, and I ran tonight....like a Rock Star.

First Post of New Blog

I decided that my blog has to be about the whole of my life, and not just the part of me that fantisizes about having a smokin-hot body. 

A little update since I stopped blogging......my gym membership ran out at Spring Break and I ran out of money to pay my rockstar trainer, Anna.  BUT....I have renewed my membership and start a new round of sessions with Anna on Tuesday....and I am staring 10 weeks of summer vacation right in the face.  Holla!

The latest is.....life is good, really good.

Pounding the Pavement (with all 1?? lbs of me)

Suddenly I felt like running again.  So, last night at 9 I went for a run (with a few spurts of walking) with Tiffany.  It was about 80 degrees outside and felt fabulous. The run was hard with my foot and leg screaming at me. But, the smell of hot pavement, gas fumes from the passing cars, and intermittent wiffs of jasmine were delicious! Of course, the ladies helped me along too (Lady GaGa and Lady Antebellum). 

I'm o.k now!!!

Sorry about my earlier post....Spring Break is coming to a close and I was just feeling super blue about going back to work....and more specifically, back to the rat race.....feel like life is just zooming past when working so hard.

Had a great supper with friends, watched old Saturday Night Live, smooched on my babies......much better now.

In a Dark Place

Life sucks, Doritos do not.

Seriously, do not watch One Fine Day where Michelle Pfeiffer is exactly my age and 85 pounds lighter....looking amazing...

Thanks Patience (my niece, not the virtue)

Last week, I was feeling angry.  My anger was not directed at any person, really...just  circumstances in general.  But, the resentement overflowed when I received what was meant to be encouraging words about my fitness goals.  The words were..."You just have to want it."  And it made me angry, because I don't think anyone could want it anymore than I do.  But, it mainly made me angry, because I am so overwhelmed with life.

So, I vented this all to Patience, and she reminded me of this: When I first decided to start exercising again, I told myself that I was only going to do three days a week...so as not to overburden myself, in my already cumbersome schedule.  Fitness was going to have to be an outlet for me......a way to give a gift back to myself. And I knew this going in...but , I got excited...lost some weight and started setting bigger more unreasonable goals. 

And Patience reminded me that I am working my self to death...that I have to have balance...and that balance may include three days of exercise and on the other end of the scale some emotional eating and downtime. 

So, thank you Patience for reminding me to cut myself some slack...for reminding me of my original goals....and for never judging me.

Hurts so good...(like John Don't Call Me Cougar Mellencamp)

Anna worked my booty out yesterday.  So today, when I had to squat down to tie yet another shoe at work, I moaned and groaned as my legs tightened and burned.  But, oh how I love to exercise. 

When I arrived at the gym yesterday, I was tired, grumpy, and reluctant to get going.  My glands were swollen,  had a throbbing fever blister, and was self-concious of my glaring white legs (and the jelly on the backs and fronts of my thighs). 

But, after jumping jacks, squats, and jumping rope...I began to get a little looser and felt the tension begin to ease.  I was very distracted by what was going on with my children (worried about them in the childcare room)...but, I still felt the endorphin rush brought-on by my raised heart rate. 

This working-out thing is for me.  Because I so enjoy it.  My question is: If I love it so much, why is it a struggle to get going the next day?  Why do I have to talk myself into it so often?  Why don't I feel just as excited to walk into the gym as I feel to walk into the Peach Pit for a double order of corn nuggets (mana from heaven)?

Monday, Monday (like the Mamas and the Papas)

Feeling like taking names and kicking butts. 
Leading five awesome Waresboro fifth graders to the Battle of the Books tonight!  And there will be hotdogs, chips, and cokes....but, ALAS, I will eat supper at 3:30 before I go to the competition (from 4 to 7).  Then I will come home and have a nice bowl of fruit (golden delicious apples and strawberries) before bed. 
And I will Spark! 

Corn Nuggets

Corn Nuggets...how do I love thee, let me count the ways.

But, you don't love me back.  You give me dimples in all the wrong places.

It's a New Day

Thanks for all the positive feedback.  I think the main message from yall, is that today is a new day. And I truly do believe in that.  Patience and I have talked so many times about the ups and downs of the journey towards healthy living, and we both agree in the end that no matter what, we will never give-up. 

What I have come to see through my life and the many people I have been friends and coworkers with, is that when it comes to fitness and health, we are all so very different.  HOWEVER...there is one theme that is undeniable, and makes me so aware that everything we read in books and magazines, and what we watch on television, about healthy living is TRUE.  My friends that are fit and healthy lead  healthy lifestyles.  Being thin, looking good,  and possessing a strong self-image is never an accident.  These friends of mine do all those things well that I struggle with....drink a lot of water, make good food choices, refrain from emotional eating, are cognizant of their bodies' need for sleep/rest, and do not overload themselves with stressful comittments. [ This is not to say they don't have their own ups and downs with fitness and exercise, but they work everyday to conquer those hurdles].

So, I don't go around hating folks that look great.  I do not say: She has a fast metabolism; She has more time than me to focus on her health; She starves herself; She has good genes; I was never meant to be that thin;  If I could afford a personal trainer I could be thin; If I had enough money to buy fancy food I could be thin.........all of these are excuses...excuses that I hear all of the time.  And we ALL know they are excuses. 

What it all comes down to is me: me and the choices I make.  And the fact of the matter is, sometimes I make bad choices.  And that's o.k.  But, I have to own that, and not blame it on anything.  So, I don't. 

I make great choices sometimes and brag about them and feel good.  I make bad choices sometimes and confess them and still feel pretty good.  All because I have family and friends that love me, and that I love back so much!

Giving-in Ain't All That Good

This weekend, I gave in to all my cravings and desires.  It had been a tough week, I deserved it! (right?)

So, I didn't cook.  We ate-out...a bunch...a bunch of bad places....a bunch of bad places I love. Can you say sweet tea? buffalo tenders? fries? corn nuggets? home fries? pancakes? regular Dr. Pepper? 

At home, I ate some more....break-and-bake chocolate chip cookies, Chester's Hot Fries, fudge ice cream bars, Butterfinger, Cap' Peanut Butter Crunch, .....sweet tea.

I was lazy.  No exercise....washed the laundry, but didn't bother folding it and putting it away.  Read a whole book.  Watched a lot of t.v.... a lot of nothing... a lot of why do I waste my time watching this crap.

What was I feeling as went through the weekend? Giving-in ain't making me feel all that good. 

All is well (enough)

Last week went very well as far as exercise goes.  I had three sessions with Anna and then worked-out alone on Saturday morning.  But, I have not been logging my calories.  The reason I have not been logging my calories, is because I didn't want to have to acknowledge my poor choices and excuses. 

So, my girl Anna has figured me out and is holding me over the flame.  Monday she left my abs screaming after a core work-out, then I ran with her running class...12 min run/1min walk/12min run/1 min walk...and another awesome stretching session.  I cancelled with her yesterday, because of scheduling conflicts...but she didn't let me off the hook.  She sent me some straight-forward, but encouraging texts:
Anna: "Got your message.  Hate that you couldn't make it. I will see you Thursday at 4:30.  Have a good night. Hope to see you tomorrow [cardio ball class]."
Anna: "Please bring me a copy of your three-day diary on Thursday for Monday-Wednesday"
Heather: "Yes Mam"
Heather: "Thank you for staying on me."
Anna: "You better believe it."
Anna: "By the way, never give up on yourself...always believe you can do more than what you are doing now.  Then, we will both succeed!"
Heather: "I believe...I promise...just get distracted"
Anna: "No worries...really...you have goals..we now conquer them"

But here is the thing...I don't know if I really believe that I can lose  this weight, because I just do not stick to the food guidelines that I set for myself.  I do fine for awhile then it is like I just do not do it. Am I just a spoiled brat, unwilling to deprive myself of what I want?  Or is there some kind of chemical in my body driving me to eat too much or things I have said that I wouldn't. Because when I am not following my food goals, I have these obsessive crazy person conversations in my head like...
"I want a Star Crunch.  No, I don't need it.  It will look bad in my food diary. I will be letting myself down.  But I have to have it.  No, it will make me feel guilty.  But, nothing else will do. I have to eat it.  I have to have it now.  I don't even care.  I just won't even journal for today.  I will eat the Star Crunch.  I will eat two Star Crunches.  I will eat three Star Crunches.  Since I am not journaling it anyway today, I will just eat as many as a I want, and eat really well tomorrow.  I will lay in the bed with a good book, eat Star Crunches, and it will make me feel relaxed and satisfied. Tomorrow I will not eat any more Star Crunches, because they will be all gone.  I will have eaten them all!"

No joke. This is the mind of a food addict.
 

Run, Run as fast as you can....

Well, I ran....for the first time since November.  And it felt sooooo good yesterday when I was sweating, listening to my Ipod, gasping for air, feeling like I was superwoman!  Anna stretched us out really well afterward, and that is just so very important when you are old like me.  But that hasn't stopped my quad muscles from screaming at me today. Using the tank lid on the back of the toilet to ease down onto the potty, walking like a wobbly-legged drunk, begging William to push my straightened leg over my head to stretch.....but I LOVE IT!

On the right track with eating and exercising.

Monday: Session with Anna, then her running class
Tuesday: Session with Anna
Plan for rest of week
Wednesday: Cardio ball class with Anna (of course)
Thursday:  30 minute run/walk
Friday:  30 minute session with Anna
Saturday/Sunday: 30 minute run/walk

Back on Track

Today was a good day.  I wasn't perfect, and didn't log my calories....but I didn't just throw myself under the bus either.
Today when I met with Anna, I asked her if we could skip the work-out for a "talk" session to help me refocus...and I am so glad we did!  She reassured me and helped me set some new short-term goals that I feel excited about.
New Goals:

1.  Change calorie range to 1400- 1600 (really shooting for 1400 daily)
2.  Disperse my calories differently (breakfast 400, lunch 300, supper 400, snacks 300)
3.   Lose 5 pounds in the next four weeks
4.  She's weighing me tomorrow morning, and I'm not going to weigh again for four weeks (because I've been obsessing a little about the scale).
5.   Start Anna's running class on Monday nights (gradually increasing run/walk flat 5k)
6.   Try to get most of my calories from healthy foods (with fewer treats)

So tomorrow morning I am going to Zumba at 8:30 and off to St. Simons for two days and one night with my family.  Can I eat well? Yes I can.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly....Mostly Ugly

Honestly........what is wrong with me?  I have been putting off posting about what I am eating, because I have been eating CRAP since last Wednesday.  That is one week and one day of crap!  And I have been very sick, so no working out. 
So, from now on I am posting EVERY day, for at least a week, exactly what I eat.  Maybe that will get me back on track.
Honesty in the written word is so much more brutal....and that is exactly what I need right now.
Tune in tomorrow to see if I get back on track, or continue to self-destruct.

I'm Back...

So, I am back from a week of gluttony in Seattle...continued it yesterday with a batch of no-bakes from my William.  Today I am so sick with a cold and jetlag. 
Tomorrow is the day...for sure!

Please don't let me fall off the wagon.  I will weigh this coming Sunday and my hope is that I will break even with my last weigh-in. 

Homesick

Seattle is so pretty...but so are Ramsey, Isabelle, and William.

Baby's Got Her Blue Jeans On

I put on my old jeans for the first time today......and they fit! Wearing them on the plane to Seattle.  Small victories sure do help.

Weigh-In Week 4

Pounds lost- Zero, Zilch, Nada
Why?  tell ya in a minute
Did I mess up? Yes
Good News?  Didn't even gain a tenth or hundredth of an ounce
Now for some honesty:
I did not track my calories the past two Sundays or this past Saturday....and the reason I didn't track my calories is because I KNEW IT WOULD BE OFF THE CHART! Why am I folding?  I totally let my emotions get to me on Saturday....and Sunday for that matter.  Just completely self-soothed by eating comfort foods.   Oh, and I only worked-out three days last week as opposed to the five I promised myself!

Goals for this week:
---Stay at low-end of calorie range on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.
---Allow myself to be on the high end of my calorie range without going completely off the charts during the days I am in Seattle. (Thurs-Sund)
---Continue to track calories and blog while in Seattle
---Get in some sort of exercise while in Seattle

My main hope is that I won't gain any this week, since I know it will be super challenging with my trip.  Even if I do gain or whatever, I plan to get right back to it when I get back.....I am not giving up!

Tomorrow.....

Had a bad day yesterday...so at the advice of my guru, Patience, I am weighing-in tomorrow.

Seattle Bound

Next Wednesday night I am Seattle bound to see my big brother David and his family....it's been a few years. Can't wait, but dread packing.  How do you pack a carry-on for a four-day trip to somewhere really cold, while packing all your cool shoes? 
So, I have lost almost nine pounds as of this past Sunday. This coming Sunday I hope to pull a good number on the scale....helping me to fit into my favorite jeans from last fall.   
I'm still feeling good about how I am going about this weight loss thing.  I have stumbled along the way, but not completely fell off at any point.  And certainly, I have learned some lessons:
-junk doesn't cut it
-32 oz of water a day is about my limit
-exercise makes me feel like superwoman (how do I always forget that?)
-need more protein earlier in the day (you are right Patience)
-sleep better when eating right/exercising
-eating at home tastes better than eating out (most of the time)

Thanks again for reading my blog and giving me so much feedback, Geannie, Patience, Dora, Jami, Tiffany, etc.  (Notice William's name is NOT listed!)

H.U.N.G.R.Y.

I am so hungry.

Why I think I lost so little Week 3

So, I can't pretend that this week's .6 pound weight loss was a huge shocker.  I did keep my average calories where they need to be, drank more water than normal, and most importantly had five vigorous workouts.  BUT....the foods I ate were not healthy.  Last week I included some of my old comfort foods like Doritos, Snickers, sweet drinks, lots more carbs,etc.  For some meals, I would skip a healthy meal and just eat my calories in junk food.  I know from past experience, that I can't justify eating unhealthy foods just because I am exercising. Now I know that I can't replace good calories with bad calories (even if I am staying in my daily calorie range).  

This past weekend was not good either.  I hit a wall physically and mentally; not so much because of food...more like one of my "emotional basketcase" weekends.  It was totally a time that I needed the ability to crawl in my cave (my bedroom) with a good book, good movies, the remote, and just have some alone time.  But, alas..that is not the way of the mom/wife world....had to go with the flow...and the flow was clogged up by a few disappointments.  At some point, I wish God would help me shrug my shoulders more often at things that hurt my feelings...rather than internalizing the hurt in such a way that causes me to feel those feelings so intensely.

So, today (unlike Sunday when I had cake, icecream, Cracker Barrel, no bakes, etc)  I had a good healthy day....my regular Carnation breakfast, Digiorno 200 cal pizz/orange for lunch, and a healthy well-rounded supper.  William grilled steaks, potatoes, steamed broccoli, and made a salad.  I love this man (even though he lies about reading my blog....jack leg). 

Week 3 Weigh In and Data

O.k...here are the facts
Average calories for Sunday through Friday: 1267  (Saturday I didn't track and it would have been bad)
Exercise: 3 days with trainer, 1 day step class, 1 day kickboxing
Water:  Drank a bunch Sund-Wednesday ...then slacked off end of week
Sweet Teas/Cokes:  a few small ones
Weight Lost:  .6 (total of 8.9 for over three weeks)
Isabelle lost .4 pounds (total of 4 pounds over three weeks)
Ramsey: didn't weigh him b/c he threw-up for three days straight with a virus
William: gained 2 pounds b/c he had a bad week of eating out
I will post my thoughts on all of this info later tonight.

Struggling A Bit

These past few days have been difficult. Finding myself in that place where I obssess over calorie differentials...how much have I eaten? how much have I burned? how much more can I eat and still lose weight?

But looking over the nutritional data reports on sparkpeople.com, I can see that I have taken in much less protein daily than I was in the beginning.  Tomorrow I will eat more protein.

Exercise is going very well...Anna thoroughly kicked my booty on Monday and Tuesday...then I took her CrazyStep class tonight....her choreography is so difficult that I stay so focused on the movements and time goes by quickly...and I am pouring sweat when I'm done.

Today was not a good water day....still more than last week..but not great...probably 32oz all day.

This is gonna sound nuts, but I love that stank sweat smell left over on my clothes after I've worked out really hard....it's like proof, since the real results aren't immediate.

Water plus First Workout with Anna

Yesterday I drank 84 oz of water, and took 200 trips to the potty.  As a teacher, it is difficult to get to the bathroom (can't leave kids unattended.) Yesterday, we had a plan day so it was o.k. ....we will see how it goes today.

As for my first workout with Anna...it was exactly what I wanted.  For thirty minutes she kept me moving doing strength exercises that would raise my heartrate intermittently.  She only gave me a couple of breaks that only lasted seconds for catching my breath and getting a sip of water.  I love the stuff she had me doing, b/c I know it is effective.  Walking lunges, back lunges, incline push-ups, pull-ups on the Gravitron, squats..love that she had me using the ball and my own body weight.  She knows her stuff, this one.  I followed it up with 20 minutes of cardio on the Elliptical.  Felt really good about it...meet her again today at 5pm.

Goals for Week 3

I want to give my body another big boost so I have two major goals for Week 3:

• Take in one gallon of water per day
• Exercise five times for 30 minutes

I have scheduled training sessions with Anna on Monday, Tuesday, and Friday, so that will help me stay true to this goal.  Only have to make myself work-out on my own two days.

Reflecting on Week 2:
During week two I found myself wanting to slip back into old habits like eating for fun, eating out, and giving into cravings. Like, Patience and I always talk about....I wonder why staying consistent is so difficult?  Why can't we make-up our mind to eat a certain way and stick with it....forever? 
However, my clothes DID fit better, which was so encouraging.  I hung an old pair of favorite jeans on my door for inspiration and hope to be back into them in a few weeks time. 
Still feeling VERY positive about this process.  And if you read this stuff, please let me know with a comment...It's pathetic that I need so much attention from others, but it help me stay accountable, because I want to make yall proud.

Week 2: Weigh-in, data

Week two was more difficult than week one....but, we still had success.

Heather:
Weight lost - 2.4 pounds (total of 8.2 pounds lost)
Average calories/day eaten for week: 1,438 (high 1,778 / low 1,092)
Daily water - about 12 oz at most per day
Exercise - 2 days (crappy I know)
Sweet teas - none
Cokes/Dr. Peppers - 2 really big ones (Thursday and Friday)

Family weight loss:
William - 2.0 pounds (total of 4.8 pounds lost)
Ramsey - .6 pounds lost (total of 1.6 pounds)
Isabelle -1.6 pounds (total of 3 pounds)
Isabelle is my number one fitness partner! She is so much fun and makes exercising much more enjoyable.  Love that girl.

Data from Week 1

These are averages and totals from the week respectively.....

Average daily calories : 1,172

Water: around 2 to 3 cups a day (bad Heather)

Exercise:  1 day for 30 minutes (again.....not good)

Average mood: really good, positive

Sweet Teas for the week: 1 large (so worth it, right Patience?)

Weight Lost: 5.8 pounds

Day 10: I survived....

Thanks yall!  I made it to the end of the day on the lowest end of my calorie range....just kept visualizing supper and felt much better after one of my favorite meals.  
Patience, you are right....I think that my usual stuff works during the week because I am so busy..but on days that I'm off, I need to distribute my calories more evenly with some energy foods at the beginning of the day. 
Live and learn.
Three day work week (halleluiah).

Day 10: NOW I AM HUNGRY!

I knew it would finally happen.  Today I am so flippin' hungry.  Ate my regular breakfast, had a different lunch (still within my calorie norm of 200 for lunch)...had an apple for a snack.  But it is 3:30 and supper seems so far away. 

Gonna watch t.v. and try not to eat the coffee table.

Weigh-In Week 1

Couldn't be happier with this week's weigh-in......

I lost: 5.8 pounds.

William lost 2.8 pounds.

Ramsey lost 1 pound.

Isabelle lost 2.4 pounds.

So, great results when the only thing I changed was portion control through calorie counting.  No diet pills, no increase of water intake, no exercise, no special foods, no restrictions. 
I stayed within my calorie range of 1200-1600.

This week I add exercise.  Spring and summer clothes...here I come!

More than just a personal trainer.......

So, I went to see Anna the trainer today for my consultation (sat on the couch and got to know each other a bit, both wrote down our training dates for the next six weeks, covered my history/concerns, talked about nutrition, etc.) and....I am so impressed! This gal's got a laundry list of credentials.  She has a Masters degree in fitness and kinesiology (which she got after she earned a Masters in accounting and decided it wasn't for her!)  In short, I was really impressed with her positive attitude, her passion for what she does, and just how seriously she takes personal training. 

I'm even more excited about next Tuesday when she does the one hour fitness assessment.  It is how she collects baseline data in five different areas:

1. Body Composition - Body Fat Assessment, Circumference measurements
2. Cardio Endurance - 3 minute step test
3. Strength Endurance - How many push-ups in 1 minute? and sit-ups in 1 minute?
4. Strength Maximum - weight max for all large muscle groups
5. Flexibility

Anna was also excited to know that I am already keeping an online food diary with Spark People, because it is something she asks her clients to do. She took the first six days home to look over and make comments.
So our plan is three 30 minute sessions on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Fridays...which will include strength and cardio.  She asked me to commit to two 30 minute sessions on my own every week, too...which I plan to do on the weekends. 

So, my plan is coming together!

By-the-way....it is the end of day 6 and I'm still feeling strong.

Day 5

Days 1 - 4 have been a breeze so far.  I've been keeping my calories on the low end of my goal range.  

Tomorrow at 5pm, I have my "consultation" with Anna, the fitness trainer from my gym, Anytime Fitness (which I love, because you can go 'anytime', go figure).  This is just for her to talk to me about my fitness goals and schedule the next 19 training sessions. The next session will be a "fitness assessment" that lasts one hour.  Anna is very young...I would guess early 20's but she went to college to get a degree in this area, and conducts herself very professionally.  So, I am really excited to see how she approaches this mess I have gotten myself into.

Another epiphany:  Beef has way more calories than chicken...which I guess I knew but forgot the huge difference. 

Spark People

The online food diary that I am using is at sparkpeople.com.  I read about it in several fitness magazines....now I know why.  It is an extremely useful tool.  When you first log on the screens seem a little busy, and there is so much that is overwhelming.  However, if you will focus on the nutrition tab and just learn quickly how to log your calories, then the rest sorts itself out.  Last year I used another online food diary at everydayhealth.com and it was just more trouble than it was worth.

Here are my favorite things about sparkpeople.com:

• Once you put in your weight info and it calculates your BMR, the daily calories goal is a RANGE rather than one number. For instance my goal calories are between 1200-1600.  So I can shoot for the low number but not feel bad if I creep toward 1600.  For example, I only ate 1200 calories yesterday and I didn't feel deprived. However tomorrow night I may be starving, but I have that allowance to move up to 1600 without feeling guilty....because at 1600 calories a day, I will still lose one pound a week.
• the speed of the website is fast (so no waiting for windows to pop-up)
• it is easy to add your own favorite foods
• you can copy meals to other days easily (very useful, since most of us eat the same thing for breakfast/lunch everyday)
• You can make "food groupings" so you don't have to add every component of a complex meal everytime you eat it...for example (roast beef stew, taco salad, chicken/broccoli/cornbread).  This is so relevant, because as families we all have our standard meals.  Even more importantly, once you have measured out the portions for servings...you don't have to reread the contents of each package again.  You can just pull up the website and see that taco salad has 1/3 cup of ground beef, 1/3 cup of cheese, 12 Doritos, etc.  So, this is reinforcing your portion control behaviors. 
• There are really cool tools that help you track your nutrition easily...like pie charts to show you the percentages of fat/carbs/protien you are getting each day as compared to what you should be getting for your goal weight.

I am a Spark Person.

Measuring for True Serving Size

We are using a kitchen scale, measuring cups, and measuring spoons to keep the most accurate count of our daily calories.  It is actually liberating rather than restrictive to be so precise.  It gives me comfort, because I feel certain that I am safely within my calorie intake, while also showing me that I can eat so much more of some things than others.  When we had roast, I had more meat than I would have guessed for 4 oz.  And I really was surprised how 12 Doritos (=1 serving) was plenty for my taco salad.  I was also surprised how much 1/4 cup of shredded cheese actually looks like (more than I thought) and how much 1/3 cup of ground beef covers (again, way more that I would have thought.)  The carrot thing is still amazing to me....55 calories in one cup...geez.

Measure? Yes I can.

Day 1 - Amazing

I feel amazing here at the end of my first day!

Ate 1550 calories, exercised, feel great...but, that is normal for me.  Days 4, 10, 20...those are the hard ones. 

Epiphany - 1 whole cup of carrots only has 55 calories...wow. 

Spark People is tedious at first, but I really like it.  Specifically, I like how you can make a food group (meal) and save it.  For instance, today we had roast at lunch.  I broke the meal down into all of the components and made a food group.  So next time I cook it, I can just click to add that food group to my daily food diary.  Easy.  Also did it for the tacos I ate tonight.

I really think the reason I feel so well, is that I didn't change anything extreme, just minded my calories (portions).  And I was also very careful to incorporate more healthy fruits, veggies, nuts, and fats. 

William struggled a little today emotionally..he was kind of blue when he realized what the size of a healthy portion really looks like.  But, he's a trooper.  Isabelle was fine all day! And of course Ramsey didn't even notice the changes.

So good day.  Thank you God.    We did in fact pray at each meal for God's help in our healthy life endeavors. 

Eve of Day One

I am ready.  William is ready.

Tomorrow morning we all will get it up well before time for church so that we can each weigh (kids, too).  Already have Sparkpeople accounts set-up.  Know what I am eating for breakfast and lunch for the whole first week.  So excited.

Decided against rock-star trainer, because our schedules are not very compatible.  My second choice will be back from her vacation on Monday.  But, tomorrow I will work-out on my own.

On Monday, my principal and her sidekick will be coming into do the first of two, one-hour formal evaluations.  Geez...it is so awkward to teach as if you don't have an adult audience. We have only been back at work after Christmas vacation for less than a week, and already the stress level is high.  Gotta figure out how to NOT let that stress translate into emotional eating. 

Feeling strong...feeling excited..feeling anxious, too.

Diet Plan

William and I have decided that we are not going to buy into any particular diet plan (Weight Watchers, Nutrisystem, etc).  Tell us what you think about our plan.
We are going to use Sparkpeople.com to log our daily calories.  That's all.  Nothing fancy, but we want to do something that we can use for the whole family and that will relevant to the children forever.  In other words we want to teach them about calories, fat content, fiber, protein, portion sizes, ...rather than "points" ...

So, we will be getting our Spark People account ready (FREEEEE!) and begin the diet Sunday.

Oh...and even better news....rock star personal trainer called back! We are working-out the details.  And William is thinking of doing P90X at home. 

For tonight only, Roll Tide!!!

Support of Friends and Family.....Essential!

I realize that losing weight and becoming fit is a very personal thing....and some people choose to approach it that way.  However, for me, having the support of friends and family has been in the past and is now my lifeline.  And if you know me, that is true of all things with me.  I am just not the kind of person to work through issues in my head. They must be verbalized in some manner (chatted, cried, screamed, but mostly whined). Of course airing your dirty size 14 laundry is not always the best idea....but it is who I am, for better or worse.

It has been my experience, that positive comments and encouragement do in fact pop into my brain when I am ready to slow down the treadmill, lessen the resistance on machines, or stop midway through run. Even when I am ready to dive face first into a bag of Doritos or circus peanuts....there are voices of those who believe in me and voices who inspire me.....like Patience (Fitness and Nutrition Guru), Dora (#1 Cheerleader, Sounding Board, and Fellow Emotional Eater), Geannie (Legendary Work-out Machine and Mother of Guru), Mama (Dowager Duchess of "All My Girls are B.E.A.U.T.F.U.L.!"), and there are others....  My Life's V.I.P.s who log onto my silly little blog to say wonderful stuff, Tiffany who brings me water every time she gets herself some from the lunchroom, Melinda who has never stopped believing in me, my kids who say they are proud of me, "Thomas" a.k.a. Kristen who inspires me, and of course..... my Willy who looks at me with soft eyes no matter my weight and makes me feel like I'm still the girl he married 10 years ago.

So for those of you who suffer in silence....I say holler it all from the driveway (cause there are no mountaintops around here) and rally support, all the while disregarding all  negative thoughts and people.

 

Seeking Trainer

I got no response from rockstar trainer, so I inquired about a trainer from my gym that is pretty popular.  She is on vacation until Monday.  The owner of the gym is texting her my number to see if she wants to go ahead and schedule something for next week.

Mulling over my start date...and I think it will be this coming Sunday. 

Metabolic Weight Loss Center is a No Go

Today I went to the Metabolic Weight Loss Center satellite office in Waycross for a free consultation.  My superhero sister, Dora, had success with this method in the past....and I wanted to give it a try.  I think the office in Valdosta has been around a lot longer and is way more developed and sophisticated.

Monday 01-04-2010 @ 4:15pm
William and I walk up a flight of stairs in a very old musty building in downtown.
First of all, the office is a very small room with bare walls, old desk, phone, no computer, a filing cabinet, and one bookshelf full of Metabolic products (not very appealing).  The one employee is very nice, but just not very motivationg if you know what I mean (awkward). She weighs us both and tells us all our depressing info, including how much of our body is fat (gross!)   Then we sit by the formica desk, and she spins around the "FOLDER".  You know...the folder with a powerpoint presentation that has been printed and slipped into sheet protectors. Then the folder is flipped on its side and there you have a very impressive FOLDER PRESENTATION!!! personalized just for you (and every other person who walks through the door).  It is black and white and tells you all you need to know about weight loss.

• You will be healthier  (oh good, didn't know that)
• It will improve your appearance (seriously?...)
• You will have more energy.
• Blah
• Blah
• More Blah
• It will help you socially. (WHAT?)

Then she breaks down the cost:
We will both need a 17 week "treatment plan".  Plus several supplements (one of them mandatory for the contract).  She annoys me when she keeps referring to the most expensive and impressive supplement as "he".....she says, "MRC6 is our most comprehensive supplement.  He has a little bit of everything.  He works on your body fat by attacking cortisol, and he even has thermogenic properties!"  That kind of pill would definitely be a "she" in my book, cause "he" never would work that hard and be able to multi-task so well.    
Finally she goes over the cost.... William and I are both given free consultations, so we get a discount for having a spouse sign-up.
Here is the breakdown:
17 weeks of service - $268 EACH (just for weighing us twice a week and charting our progress)
Mandantory supplement - $90 each EVERY MONTH
Total Minimum Cost for both of us for 17 weeks = $1,256.
Total Minimum Cost for just me for 17 weeks = $960.

So we told the nice girl we would think about it and get back to her. 

And I really did think about it.  But, I decided no for a few reasons:
#1 Non-motivating environment
#2 Non-motivating personnel
#3 Super restrictive diet plans
#4 Really need to spend more on some of the other supplements available
#5 Plan included NO exercise (even discourages it at first b/c of lack of energy)
#6 Would be difficult to feed whole family this way (and I really want to feed the whole family in a healthy wholesome manner.)
#7 The cost just seems to be exorbitant for the service

Let me say before I close that I realize this may be just the ticket for many people, as it was for Dora.  But, I don't think it is something I can buy into (figuratively or literally).

Other ammo gathering....left message with a very popular local personal trainer.  Fingers crossed.  But, tomorrow I am also going to inquire at my gym about a couple of other personal trainers.  Still expensive, but no where near as much ...and also something I can buy into. 

Considering weight watchers again.....

Any thoughts from my friends?
(and thanks so much for all of your kind comments so far...it is far more helpful and important to me than you could ever know....feel free to give constructive criticism or give me some "no bull" talk as needed.) 

Gathering my ammo.....

• Super-Dooper Body Fat Scale
• Digital Kitchen Scale
• Charts
• Books
• Name and number of Personal Trainer
• Twizzlers (just kidding)